The Last Summer
by merise
Summary: Four years after their high school graduation, they find themselves back at that summer house, where secrets threaten to shake their world as the three are pushed into the adult world that their summer haven cannot protect them from.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Four years after their high school graduation, they find themselves back at that summer house, where secrets threaten to shake their world as the three are pushed into the adult world that their summer haven cannot protect them from.

I do not own iCarly, or any of the places mentioned in this chapter.

The Last Summer

_Prologue_

It was a tradition that began just before their junior year of high school, when the three of them were just old enough to have their license. Their summer was spent at a quiet beach house, with a balcony that they spent many a day on, sometimes talking, sometimes in silence. It was serenely beautiful in its own way.

Their time at the house forced them to learn more about themselves than anything they had gone through together. It was frightening, and it was a breakeven point in their life. They all knew from that point, there was no turning back.

After the visit after their senior year, they began to drift apart. Not that they didn't think about each other, but the space between them- or rather, Sam and Freddie, had grown slightly awkward. Now, the three were standing on the brink of the next step of their life- the world of adulthood, something they were all afraid of- not that any of them would admit it.

Of course, she was the one who set it off.

"Hey Sam, hey Freddie. It's Carly. I'm at our house for the summer and I've stocked it up with food and stuff. There's ham too, of course. Will the two of you spend your summer here, with me?"

Somehow, it felt like they were always waiting on Sam, even as they were growing up. Even now, the two were standing side by side on the port, waiting for her ship to dock.

Carly and Freddie looked almost like brother and sister to the passerby, who spared them a glance. Yes, the latter had had a crush on the former, but he had been forced to realize he was in love with the idea of being in love with her- that the idea of perfection had prompted his feelings. That summer had forced the three of them to realize that graduation was coming upon them, and the illusion of their childhood innocence was disappearing on them.

And, without warning, that time had come they had gone their separate ways.

Freddie had gone down to Stanford for college- something his mother was incredibly proud of. Carly had stayed local to stay close to her brother and Sam, well, was Sam. She went as she put it, 'Where the wind took her', which ended up being further south of Freddie, in Santa Barbara. So theoretically, Sam should have been at their little Catalina island first, but she was Sam, after all.

Carly was undoubtedly the middle ground between Sam and Freddie. She had touched bases with the both of them, but she knew that the two had not talked since the end of their last trip to the island, dating four years since they had last communicated.

It really didn't make much sense to Carly. They were not _that_ far apart- they were both in the same state, for goodness sakes, but clichéd as it was, there were still words and feelings left unsaid between them. Of course, they were Sam and Freddie, so she didn't try and interfere. Somehow, she just knew they would work out.

It wasn't that Sam and Freddie had parted ways on a bad note. Nor were they enemies. The two had grudgingly admitted there was something between them. It was different from the friendship between Carly and Freddie- it was no more nor less, but it was definitely different.

Finally, there was a glimpse of blonde curls coming closer on the ship. Sam was standing on the deck, decked in cut-off shorts and a tank top. From a distance, it looked like she had dramatically changed, but as she approached them, they noticed that her hair was still perfectly unkempt in that Sam way, still long and curly, and her shirt had a plate with a live pig on it with the words, "I love animals… they taste great."

If it was one thing that would always stay the same, it was Sam.

"Carly." The blonde acknowledged. "Fredhead."

"Sam, we're twenty-three. Do you really still have to call me names?"

"Oh, Fredward, of course I don't have to. It's a necessity." She grinned as she gave him her suitcases to carry to the car and looped her arm through Carly's in one fluid motion. "Now come on, Mama's got some ham waiting for her at the house."

Freddie snorted as Sam and Carly started to head off towards the direction of the parking lot. It was Sam's talent, to pretend that nothing had changed between any of them. It was just so simple, an almost second nature for her that he doubted she even realized it.

He sighed as he trailed after the girls.

If there was one thing that would always stay the same, it was Sam.

Though that wasn't _always_ a bad thing.


	2. Chapter 2

Well, assuming that I update at this rate, I'll be done by my sophomore year of college, ha (I'm a senior in high school right now).

I do not own iCarly, or any of the places mentioned in this chapter.

The Last Summer

"_What are you doing, Sam?" Freddie asked as he passed by the balcony. There was a mass of blonde curls fanned out behind a small frame, whose legs were inserted in between the gaps on the balustrade._

"_Nothing. Thinking." She replied without even turning around to look at him._

"_Thinking about nothing then?"_

_There was a silence in between them before Sam stood up, and pointed to the beach._

"_You, me, and Carly. Let's go to the beach, now."_

"_Now? It's almost midnight."_

"_I do seem to recall I said now, Fredhead."_

"_Sam, can't you lay off the nicknames? We're graduating this year."_

"_Next year. We don't graduate until June of next year. But that's besides the point. You meet me and Carly at the door in ten minutes. Don't be late."_

_Fifteen minutes later, with complaining on Carly's part, the three found themselves out on the sand, which was cool to the touch._

"_Ahh, don't you just wish we could stay here forever?" Sam asked as she plopped down on the sand and moved her arms and legs back and forth. She sat up slightly to examine her result. "It's a sand angel."_

_Freddie raised an eyebrow at her. "Angel?"_

"_Okay, sand- what is it that you're always calling me? Sand blonde-headed demon? Enh, doesn't sound right. Sandy blonde demon? Ah whatever. Thinking hurts my brain." She replied. "Come on, Carls! Come into the water with me!"_

_Without waiting for a response, she jumped into the water, wading towards the inky black horizon._

"_Wait! Sam! You'll catch a cold- you can't go- I-" Carly protested, but Sam was already far beyond reach. The figure still on the beach turned to her._

"_Shall I go after Sam, then?" He asked. Carly nodded in response and started to swim after the blonde bob in the water. "Oi, Sam, get back here!"_

"_Not on your life, Benson! You know, your mom made you take all those swimming lessons, and I'm still faster than you!" She called back._

_As Carly stood on the beach, wrapping her blanket more warmly around her, she felt a pang in her stomach. Freddie and Sam seemed to be little specks in the water, swimming further and further away from her. Before her mind could catch up with her body, she had jumped into the water and was swimming towards her friends._

"_Whoa, Carly, wait up there!" A voice brought her back to reality and Carly realized that she had passed them. Panicking, she hurried back over to the two figures bobbing towards her._

_She didn't want to be left behind, but she didn't want to leave them behind either._

* * *

"Ahh, the beautiful smell of this cabin." Sam mused as she opened the door and collapsed on the couch. Behind her, Carly and Freddie were dragging in the suitcases. "It's been so long I've missed it. But not as much as I've missed the smell of ham."

"There's some in the fridge." Carly nodded as she left the suitcase by the door to follow her blonde friend. "I bought some the other day, because you said you'd be here yesterday."

There was a hint of accusation in her tone and Sam grinned sheepishly in response. "Had to take care of something. Sorry about that, Carls."

"So long as you're here." The brunette shrugged, giving into her friend's explanation. "We'll have our kick-off barbeque tonight then?"

"I'll go set up the grill after I bring in the rest of our stuff then." Freddie said as he dropped Sam's duffel bag on the couch and left through the door again. Carly looked between the door and the blonde, who making herself a ham sandwich, acting like nothing was out of the ordinary.

Was it acting or was it really nothing?

"Are you and Freddie okay?"

"What do you mean?" Sam asked through a mouthful of sandwich.

"Well, you two haven't really talked much… Did something happen between you two that I didn't know about?"

The weight of Freddie and Sam's first kiss was heavy in the atmosphere. Even though they both knew the little incident following the laughing gas and Carly finding out had passed, it was still there, even years afterwards.

"No. We haven't talked much since graduation." Sam shrugged in response.

"Well, how come it's so weird between you two then?"

"We just don't have much to say, I guess."

x

_Dear Diary,_

_So, Sam, Freddie and I are finally all together, for the first time in about four years. It's not how we used to be though- we've all changed, if not just a little bit. The biggest change that nerves me is Sam and Freddie's relationship. Not that I expected them to be the best of friends since they've always been 'frenemies', but they don't even argue anymore. It's a little unnverving, actually._

_The thing is, they don't even live that far away from each other. I didn't think they'd visit each other every weekend, but the fact that they haven't spoken in four years makes me a little sad. Even though they complained about it in high school, they did a lot of video segments together and I thought that they'd finally hit a point where they would talk more since I'm so much more north than they are._

_I never though I'd say it – since I complained about how much they argued, but I miss the arguing more than I like the silence._

_They're almost strangers now._

_Love,_

_Carly._

* * *

After the barbecue, Sam headed upstairs for a shower and Freddie and Carly were (of course) left to cleaning up.

"Is everything okay between you and Sam?" Carly probed as he cleaned off the grill. He kept quiet, wiping off the grime off of one spoke before shaking his head.

"What gave you the idea that anything was wrong, Carly?" He asked as he inspected the napkin.

"Well, you two haven't argued at all." She hesitated. "And you two also haven't talked to each other really since we got here. I don't know, I kind of expected…"

"You expected us to be all buddy-buddy and laugh and cry and tell stories all night." He filled in for her. "You thought Sam and I would argue about the little things, just like we used to, you'd be able to break it up, and it'd be just like high school."

She blinked at him, shocked.

"How'd you know?"

"You're predictable, Carly. That's one of the things that I liked about you."

The atmosphere became a little awkward at that, and neither knew what to say.

"So can we go back to that time?" She said in a quiet voice. "What's changed from then until now?"

"We grew up."

* * *

"_Hey, Carly, I- oh, hi there, Sam." Freddie said as he spotted the blonde sitting on the couch, staring at the letters in front of her. He spotted a hawk engraved in red, black and white on the cover of one of the letters. "Is that Carly's follow up packet from Seattle University? You do know that going through mail is a federal crime, Sam…"_

"_It's not Carly's." Sam stated. "It's mine."_

_Sam had spent the last two years of high school, grudgingly working at school. Carly and Freddie had come up with a system- for every homework assignment she finished correctly, she received 'points' which she could cash in for bacon, smoothies, and more._

"_That's great, Sam!" He exclaimed. "Since you and Carly are both at Seattle U, I'll come up to visit more oft-"_

"_I don't know if I'm going to go there."_

"_Where were you looking at?"_

"_I don't know. Maybe UC Santa Barbara."_

"_In California? Why there?"_

"_I don't want to be close to home."_

"_Well, why don't you go to the UC San Francisco then? I'll stop by and take you to Seattle with me since it's on the way, when we go visit Carly…"_

_The blonde hesitated for a moment. "I don't want to be close to you, either."_

"_I thought we decided we were some sort of friend, Sam."_

_There was a pause where neither said a word. Finally, Sam opened her mouth._

"_I-"_

"_Hey guys, I'm home!" Carly sang as the door opened. Sam quickly stuffed her letters under the couch cushion and smiled widely at the brunette._

"_Carls! Did you bring ham like I asked you too?"_

_Carly laughed in response, ignorant of the confused look Freddie had on his face. "You'll never change, huh, Sam?"_

"_Nope." She said happily. Freddie raised an eyebrow._

_The letters stuffed in the cushion spoke otherwise._


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **... Yay for writer's block.

Anyways, this next part is what I think would happen for iBeat the Heat. Even though I'm not a fan of Creddie, I think enough needs to happen for Seddie to happen. I also don't like the idea that Sam and Freddie's feelings change into romantic feelings after their kiss. But I'm getting too ahead of myself; enjoy this next chapter.

The Last Summer

"… _And I met this guy, Carimine."_

"_Dude, that's my uncle! Have you met all of my relatives in jail?" The blonde replied, eyes lit in amusement. From a distance, two people were watching, one fumed and the other amused, both at the pair sitting on the couch and the scowling boy next to her._

"_Well, you do have quite a few there, Puckett, all more dangerous than the other. Should I be worried that they'll come after me or worried that I'm totally turned on by it?" Griffin smirked. _

"_I don't like that guy." Freddie brooded from his corner in the kitchen. He had been watching Sam and Griffin with a surly look for a while now. His statement wasn't new- Carly knew that when she had gone out with the bad boy, he had said the same thing. If Freddie had said that while Griffin was making moves on her, she would not have noticed anything amiss, but as it was, Griffin had not given her a second glance._

"_Come on, Freddie, stop being such a Broody-McBrood." The brunette interjected as the boy raised an eyebrow at her. She felt herself flush, muttering at the floor, "I'm not good with nicknames like Sam."_

_She finished adding the paper umbrella to the two drinks that she planned to take over to Sam and Griffin. Yes, she wasn't completely thrilled that her ex was in her apartment, but she wanted to be a good host to everyone, regardless._

"_He's obviously flirting with her to make you jealous though."_

"_Uh huh, except for the fact that he hasn't even looked my way. Freddie, take these two lemonades over to Sam and Griffin." She said absently, concentrating on the other glasses. He muttered something incomprehensible under her breath before carrying the tray over to the couch._

"_So, how about you and I ditch this joint and get ourselves into some good, fun trouble?" The boy proposed, leaning back in his seat._

"_What did you have in mind? Robbing a bank?"_

"_More like going to get smoothies across the street. I'll pay."_

"_Sounds connivingly like a date."_

"_Only if you want it to be, Puckett."_

_Sam looked up at Carly, as if it were a second reflex, not noticing Freddie approaching in her line of vision._

"_Sure, let's- agh, Benson, what the hell is wrong with you?" The blonde screeched as Freddie purposely tipped the tray over, spilling the drinks all over the Sam and Griffin. Carly, sensing trouble, grabbed two towels and headed over to break up what probably would result in a fight._

"_Sam, don't kill Freddie, it was an… accident." The brunette said unsurely but quickly, grabbing Sam by the arm. Sam made the notion to swap off her hand but stopped upon seeing that it was Carly. Upon realizing that Sam had calmed down, she handed her a towel and tossed the other at Griffin. "You can go up and change, your spare clothes are where they've always been. Griffin, you can go clean up in the kitchen, if your clothes are sticky. Freddie, you can clean up the spill."_

_Sam made a noise of content and headed up the stairs, Freddie watching her until she disappeared before starting to wipe off the table and dry the couch. Carly returned to the kitchen, with Griffin following in her wake._

"_Are those two always like that?" He asked as he took the kitchen sink hose._

_Carly was about to automatically reply 'yes', but stopped herself. It wasn't always true, she noted. There was the time that he had gotten rid of Missy because Sam was upset, there were those occasions where they would cooperate to do 'Wake Up Spencer', and there was the time that they kissed…_

"_Sometimes." She replied honestly. She hesitated, as she thought of what Freddie had said before he took over the drinks. "Do you honestly like Sam?"_

"_You jealous?"_

"_Whether I am or not, that's not my question. Do you like Sam?"_

_He shrugged. "We've got a lot in common, and she's cute in a way that's different from you. So I might, if not, I can learn to."_

"_Well then, you'll have to tell that to Broody McBrood coming over here." Carly nodded at Freddie who was approaching. "I'm going to go talk to Sam."_

_Freddie waited until Carly was gone to start talking._

"_Look, if you hurt Sam in _any _way, I'll-"_

"_Dude, who said I was flirting with Puckett to get Carly jealous?" Griffin interrupted. Freddie blinked at him, confused, and the taller boy motioned his head to the stairs. "Carly told me your little theory."_

"_It's not a theory!" He growled. "Why else would you flirt with Sam?"_

"_Because she's funny and cute?"_

"_Ha! See, you can't refer to Sam and use 'cute' in the same sentence-"_

_Griffin rolled his eyes and snorted. "Yeah, you can. You probably don't see it because most of the time, when you think of Sam, you think of her insults, but that girl's a firecracker. You don't keep an eye on her, you don't keep fighting with her, and she'll be snatched up by some other guy that's not you."_

"_That's not true! Sam and I are… friends…? I won't be forgotten that easy."_

"_Your hesitation is cute." Griffin mocked, as he ruffled Freddie's head. The boy glared daggers, equivalent to Sam's most intense stare. "If you two stop fighting, then what do you two have between each other then? If you two stop playing your games, what happens then?"_

x

"Is it weird that I miss your multitude of nicknames?" Freddie asked randomly. He and Sam were waiting for Carly to bring out the drinks from the house and the pair had been sitting there, Sam half asleep, Freddie thoughtful, in silence.

"Maybe you're just a masochist." The blonde replied, eyes still closed, not even bothering to look at him. "It makes sense if you think about it. You continued to chase after Carls even after she rejected you so many times and you were friends with me for the longest time too."

She didn't even bother to acknowledge his name, he noticed. It was so much worse than her stockpile of names that she used to have stored up. It almost made him feel like a stranger to this girl, when in reality, they had known each other for as long as they could really remember. The way she worded things made everything seem so... final, as well. It made him feel like there was a wall that built up between the two in those four years...

_If you two stop fighting, then what do you two have between each other then?_

Freddie let out a hiss and tried to shake those words out of his head. It was Griffin's fault, he reasoned. If Griffin hadn't pissed him off so much back then, maybe he wouldn't have thought any more about him and Sam and Carly.

He motioned to sit up and heard the crinkle of a wrapper from his pocket. The slight crackle attracted Sam's attention, who snapped up, automatically eying his pocket.

"I hear fat cakes." She said simply.

Freddie opened his mouth to ask how she could tell, but a snapshot picture of the giant cylinder of fat cakes and the number 237 popped into his mind. Laughing to himself, he pulled the snack out of his pocket, dangling it in front of her expectant face. When he didn't motion it towards her, she raised an eyebrow.

"First, you have to promise to call me Fredward. Or Fredelupe or Freducation or whatever names you had for me." He enticed. "It'll make me feel like we'd be friends, or whatever we were again."

She could have easily snatched the snack out of his hands, he noted. But instead of lunging for it, she smiled for a flash of a second.

"You must be so desperate for friends, if you'd bribe me with a fatcake, Fredicinni."

x

_If you two stop fighting, then what do you two have between each other then? If you two stop playing your games, what happens then?_

_Griffin's words echoed in his head. He and Sam were friends, but their relationship was so different then say, his and Carly's. They seemed to live for fighting and insulting each other- it was just their second nature. He could remember that one week where Sam couldn't insult him without paying a penalty, and she was a nervous wreck._

_What would they do if they didn't argue? It'd be awkward, wouldn't it?_

_No, it wouldn't, Freddie told himself. He and Sam didn't argue _all_ the time. Just a good portion of it. They had their moments where they got along without Carly. They didn't admit it, but they looked out for each other. The random trials proved it: Jonah, Valerie, Missy, Carly…_

_Carly. There was something about her that he couldn't place anymore. She was still Carly; sweet, predictable, innocent… And fiercely protective of Sam. Like he couldn't place his feelings with Sam, he also couldn't place his feelings on Carly. It was weird- he didn't get those constant butterflies anymore, but they also didn't completely go away, like when he kissed her during their brief relationship. He wasn't sure though, whether they were butterflies from what he imagined it to be or the kiss itself.._

"_Freddie, what's wrong?" The brunette asked, snapping him out of his thoughts. Freddie jumped and turned to face her. She cocked her head at him and he blinked, staring blankly at her._

_Well, it was now or never._

"_Carly… I'm going to ask you a weird request." He hesitated._

"_Sure, you know I'd do anything for a friend."_

"_Will you let me kiss you?"_

_Carly's jaw slightly fell open. It wasn't the same tone as when they were little, she noted; he wasn't begging, he didn't seem to be desperate. If anything, it was a request, and she had the choice to comply or not._

"_Why?"_

"_I just want to check something, that's all." He shrugged, meeting her in the eye. "It's been bugging me for a while, so I just need to check something."_

"_Can you promise me you won't fall in love with me?"_

_The words came out before she could process them, but she couldn't help it. A strand of curly blonde hair had filled her mind when she blurted out the words, and a whir of images crossed her mind- Sam and Freddie, sitting comfortably on the beanbags, both fast asleep, hands almost touching, as if they had fallen asleep together, Sam's guarded face when she had kissed Freddie in the hallway, the flash of her deer-in-headlights expression when Freddie had mockingly accused her of being in love with him…_

_She looked back at Freddie who was lost in his own thoughts. She realized the absurdity of her statement as she examined his face- there was no way she or he could control his feelings towards her- she knew that._

_But she always would try._

"_I promise." The two words snapped Carly out of her reverie and she stepped closer to him at his computer. She stopped when she was within two inches of his face and she looked up at his brown eyes. Really, if he hadn't been chasing her since forever, she might have fallen in love with his eyes…_

_She leaned up, and he kissed her lightly on the lips. They weren't sure what they were expecting- their last kiss had been under different circumstances. Finally, they both mutually pulled back, and looked at each other, as if hoping to read each other's thoughts._

_Neither had anything to say.  
_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Phew! I'm not really sure why this one took me as long as I did, but yeah. More 'past' to get you caught up on 'the present'. Lots of emotional turmoil to come, so look out for that.

**The Last Summer**

_Carly. Sam. Sam. Carly._

_Stupid feelings._

"_Sup, Freddie?" Gibby asked as Freddie started to slam his head into the back wall of his locker. "Is everything okay?"_

"_What makes you think something's wrong?"_

"_Well, you're slamming your head into your locker and there's no Sam present and no Carly to stop her."_

_The mention of both of their names made his stomach churn and he made out a little noise in between a moan and a groan. "Gibby, am I sick?"_

"_That depends, do you have a fever?"_

"_No…"_

"_Then you're not sick."_

_Well, there went that stupid possibility, Freddie sighed mentally. Too bad, it would have made stuff in his head make sense. Now he just had a bunch of facts in his head that led to a conclusion that had to be impossible._

"_Say, Gibby… How did you know you liked Tasha?"_

"_I just knew." He said slowly, thinking about it. "Anyways, tell all your problems to Grand Master Gibby with his down B magic."_

"_Alright… But you can't tell this to either Carly or Sam. Under the Unbreakable Vow."_

"_Oho, I see it's serious. Grand Master Gibby is all ears."_

"_There's a girl. It's really stupid- I shouldn't like her because of everything that's happened, but I know that when someone who might break our friendship is there I get this pit feeling in my stomach. And well… there's kind of another girl. And I don't know. I think she might also be something that'll break us, but she's still a really good friend, though she hasn't always been 'a friend'."_

"_Sounds like deep stuff, man. Why am I not telling Carly or Sam again?"_

_Freddie blinked at him._

"_Nevermind."_

* * *

_She hadn't meant to hear it. Really. She was just heading over to Freddie's locker to ask him about the French homework when he heard him tell Gibby 'not to tell Carly or Sam'. And really, it wasn't her fault she was curious. The last time he kept something from her… Well, was what they called 'the unmentionable'._

_And now… She could have sworn that he had felt the same way about that kiss they had shared in the studio. Thinking back about it, she felt a little guilty about not telling Sam about it. It almost felt as if they were drifting apart, and she couldn't do anything to stop it. But that kiss- it was just another kiss. No butterflies. It wasn't a bad kiss… just not something extraordinary._

"_Hey Carly, I came by to calibrate the- Is something wrong?" Freddie asked. She had been staring at his face, as if it would help her read his thoughts, and she hadn't realized how intense her stare was._

"_I heard you talk to Gibby." She blurted out as he almost dropped the harddrive he was carrying. "Can we talk about it?"_

_Freddie hesitated,_

"_Can we just not talk about it?"_

_"No, we can't just not talk about it! I thought you felt the same way about the kiss! We need to talk about what I overheard, Benson."_

_"But my mom is waiting for me to…"_

_"I don't care! Are you in love?"_

_"So. What was in that chicken pot pie? I mean, I know _chicken _obviously, but what other-?"_

_"Are you in love or not?" Carly demanded, impatient._

_"Yes." Freddie finally muttered, inaudibly. Carly's stomach dropped- this had been her worse case scenario- she could have sworn that he was indeed, not in love with her, had not felt anything from their kiss, and was in fact, in love with Sam._

"_But you promised that you wouldn't fall in love in me-"_

"_I didn't say I was in love with you."_

"_Then… Sam?"_

"_I- I don't know." He replied honestly. "Maybe. Am I crazy, Carly? I mean, Sam and I fight like cats and dogs. I shouldn't like her, let alone be her friend, but I haven't left yet and it makes me think that something's seriously wrong with me. And there are times where I feel bad for putting her down even though she does it to me all the time. Like that stupid Sea-At-School thing. I told her I didn't believe her and she made a face and I couldn't think of doing anything else but help her even though I said she wasn't my friend earlier. I'm not supposed to like her, Carly and it's messing me up."_

"_Maybe…" Carly hesitated. "Maybe it's just unconditional love."_

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_This is something that I can never tell Sam and Freddie. The truth is, I'm afraid of them going out. We've been a trio for so long, I don't want to be a third wheel. It scares me, because I'm so not used to all of the change that's going on. I'm so used to Freddie adoring me; even though I acted indifferent, I'm not going to lie and pretend I didn't like the attention. I'm used to Sam and Freddie pretending to hate each other, when they really- well, maybe not liked each other, but were friends none the less._

_That's the biggest selfish part of me. I'm afraid of being left behind. When we were at Catalina the first time, and I saw Freddie and Sam so far out in the water, I was so afraid it started. When Griffin started flirting with Sam and Freddie got mad, I realized it had started a long time ago, and all that tension was just growing and growing._

_I don't think they've noticed their feelings for each other. On one hand, I want to scream at them, telling them to get together, but on the other hand, I want to live in the blissful ignorance that we've just had for so long. I don't know what scares me more- the idea of them getting together or the idea of something happening and them breaking up._


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I win so much at updating. It's been over a year.

Well. I obviously wrote this before iOMG was aired. So I"m going to finish this (hopefully) without that in mind.

_Freddie Benson was in no means, stupid._

_He had an almost impeccable report card all throughout school. He wasn't a genius, like say, Neville. But he was incredibly bright. No one would deny it._

_Except him. In terms of people and romance and all that jazz._

_In all honesty, Carly was easy for him. His attraction was easy to figure out. She was pretty and kind and when he had first met her, that was all any boy needed to fall in love. She still was pretty and kind, but he wasn't that little boy anymore._

_Sam was a different story. He knew he had been changed her. He knew it by the gleam in her eye when he talked back, whereas before it had been a look that screamed at him to fight back when he didn't. She didn't accept people easily into her life and fought people who tried to get close because she knew they wouldn't last._

_Which is why Carly was so special to her. Yes, he was important to Carly and Sam too. Even the Freddie that wasn't on the best terms with Sam, way back when knew it. No, he would never be the person either of them went to if one of them had their heart broken because there was something about Carly and Sam that you couldn't break through. Not him. Never him. Not even Spencer. He had never tried to understand it. He just knew it was there and he would never interfere with that._

_He understood Carly. He kinda understood Sam. He understood the basis of their dynamics as a trio._

_He couldn't understand the moment where he started to fall in love in Sam._

_It wasn't when they kissed. That would have been stupidly cliché, for them to fall in love because of a kiss. It wasn't when Griffin had prodded him on to think about his and Sam's relationship because it was more a thought-provoking question then anything._

_When was it? When was the exact moment? He was probably in denial when it happened. He couldn't remember seeing a golden light with angels singing... Was it more subtle than that?_

_When did things start changing without his notice?_

"_Hey, stop spacing and help me out, will you?" Sam interrupted his thoughts. He blinked at her before remembering what was going on. He had gone up to the studio to test cameras for more angles and Sam was now setting some up on the various points he had marked on his map – the TV, the car, while he had been spacing out. "Is this the right spot?"_

"_Right, right, sorry Captain Puckett." He said distractedly as he glanced at his laptop screen. "Little more to the left."_

"_Got it, Freddicini."_

_It was the nickname. It was the nickname that made him realize something very important that he had forgotten._

_It didn't matter_ when_ he fell in love with Sam. The logical part in him argued with that. Of course it mattered! It would explain when his feelings started changing, when he behavior started changing... It would explain every little piece of insanity that led him up to the turmoil he was in now._

_Except it didn't matter. It didn't matter when. It didn't matter why. It didn't even matter how._

_Because he just was._

* * *

"Sam, will you tell me what happened with you and Freddie?"

The blonde raised an eyebrow. She was lying on Carly's bed, staring at the ceiling while the latter was sitting in a recliner next to it. Freddie had volunteered (Or rather been forced) to go buy firewood for the fire pit right by their cottage.

"Nothing really to tell Carlotta." Sam replied nonchalantly, absently kicking her feet upside down. It was almost believeable- except for the fact that Carly knew Sam better than anyone, even herself. There was a hint of a strain in Sam's voice – a don't press further tone, barely noticeable.

"Sam... You're not lying to me, right? I won't get angry if you are. I just want you to tell me if you are."

Carly's voice had dropped decibels and it was _that_ voice. The voice that had never failed to guilt Sam when she did something wrong when they were younger. When they were at their own schools and Sam had come close to doing something stupid, it was that voice. Carly's voice, and Carly's face that had reminded her to stop. Carly, her voice of reason. She depended on that voice more than she could recall.

And she could almost hate Carly for it.

"I am, Shay." Sam let out a whisper. "Carly, you know I love you, but I'm not ready to tell you yet."

"Okay."

"I promise I'll tell you soon, Carls." It was almost inaudible, but Carly caught it. "I'm not ready to tell you yet. I promise I will. Someday. Just... Don't press any further until then, okay?"

* * *

Carly Shay never worried.

Okay, that was totally a lie. Of course she did. She had a lot to worry about. Sam, for one. Everyone had always said that Sam needed Carly much more than Carly needed Sam. Almost everyone thought that except Carly and Freddie.

Carly was spoiled. And she acknowledged that. She was the baby of her family with such a big age gap in between her and Spencer. And people took pity on her because they knew she lost her mother at an early age. She didn't really remember her mother much, just the smell of cinnamon and soft, dark hair. Of course she missed her mother, but she never really knew what she missed. Since people took pity on her, they absolutely doted on her. So she was used to getting her way and she was used to affection.

But Sam. Sam brought about the nurturing side out of Carly. Yes, Carly was younger than Sam, but Sam was almost so busy protecting Carly that she forget about herself. And she forgot about consequences. So she was there to almost be Sam's mother, and that brought about the brunette's kind nature.

Sam Puckett made Carly Shay a better person. And return, Carly Shay wanted nothing but Sam Puckett's happiness.

Even if that meant that Sam Puckett hated Carly Shay in the process.


End file.
